Step 8 Agony

Long Time No See!

Hi, I am Sabilon, I am a compulsive overeater.

I am back, determined to keep my blog alive and kicking!

As you see from the title, I am currently in 'step 8 agony'. It has never felt that uncomfortable, that frightening before!

I am working with a new sponsor, and I feel she is pushing me through the steps. I have no idea whether that is a good or a bad thing. So I decided to just share my feelings here, and maybe someone will give me some feedback, maybe about their own experience...e.g.

This sponsor suggested that I put every person/institution etc. that is on my step 4 on my step 8 list. It is shocking! There are people I have envied or I have been felt disliked by, but I am not aware of having done anything to them, and the suggestion is that I make amends to them, tell them that I have been 'selfish and self-centred' in my relationship with them! I am cringing as I look at their names!

While I spoke to a mate in another fellowship this morning and shared about this I suddenly felt some willingness creep in - miraculously -, and I have written three amend letters and posted them (letters, because those people are abroad). I suddenly felt very happy to write them. But when I had posted them I freaked out about the one to my brother. I have made amends to him before, and this may just infuriate and disturb him and make our relationship worse!

I have thoughts of just giving up the sponsor and being without sponsor!

Would love to read your comments.