This morning I started the day with an OA phone call (a friend called me),and while talking to her I noticed my attitude, my doubt in my Higher Power ("What are you in this world with all these horrible things happening?") etc. I also noticed that my morning routine is really a routine, a chore, nothing I love doing and that nurtures me. I sometimes do some flow-writing and really enjoy that (because I have not said to myself that I should do it), but recently I have not even given myself the time to do that because of the prayers, meditation, readings that I routinely do.
It needs to change! I need to find other, more personal ways to connect with my Higher Power.
I do these routine things almost like a way of trying to control: 'If I do all this my day will be good, my food will be clean etc....' But it doesn't work that way anyway.
I am yearning for a real connection with my Higher Power! I have experienced it many times, and it has always been very enjoyable, not a chore, and often it happens unplanned...
This weekend I will travel to an OA weekend retreat on 'Spirituality'. Maybe that will bring inspiration. I need it! Am grateful for any comments.