Physical allergy

After so many years in recovery I can still ignore everything I have painfully learned:

I know that I can't eat Chinese food, that it makes me, if not today then tomorrow, struggle with food. A very dear member of my writers' group was there for the last time today (the emotional component of the drama enfolding). After the session someone suggested spontaneously to go to a Chinese restaurant together.

I said, "I can't do Chinese food, but I can have a cup of green tea with you." On the very short way to the place to eat my mind just went. I dismissed my sandwich that was being carried around in my rucksack. I would just eat with them, I'd be alright. This time I'd be alright.

I ate, and during the meal and afterwards I felt totally oversugared. The sweet taste was sitting on my tongue! I didn't even like the meal, but the company was fantastic! We had lots of fun. But I should've stuck to tea and eaten my lovely hummus and roasted veg sandwich, home-made, afterwards.

After this sugar shock I thought I was fine! However, just off the bus at home I needed to do some planned shopping. In the shop I added raspberries, a pot of double cream and a cheese-bread-stick to regular shopping, to the bananas, broccoli etc.

Of course there was no way that I'd call another OA member or even my sponsor. The minute I've made that kind of crazy purchase, I am off.

I ate the lot at home, tasteless raspberries with cream (don't try it, it's horrible!) and the bread stick with lots of butter.

I just hope and pray that this is it!

I do need to take my physical allergy to sugar seriously!!!